living the world of hers; contradictions

blogging again

Feeling : nothing expect that irritation in my stomach
Playing : Liang Jing Ru's songs on my computer
Location: where else but home on a Tuesday night

here goes...

1. i feel guilty for not going to church. i won't be as guilty if i were studying now but it's IAD (Internet Application Development) aka freaking programming.

2. i feel a need to blog. gosh.. taking this blog away from me is like taking part of my life away. life hasn't been the same ever since i closed my blog. this time.. please. don't let mummy find out. gosh. she's is "good". she even has Ann's (nic's gf) blog address and Kenny Leong's (church/ sec sch senior) blog address. she kind of spilled the beans to me yesterday on how she got the addresses. which gives me a clue on how she managed to find my new address the last time.

3. my third year, semester one, end of year exams started today at 9am. when i took my Higher Mathematics paper. Yay! which means it's 10 days more to my last paper. a brief calculation of 240 hours. 14400 minutes. 864000 seconds to the end of my SEMESTER ONE! *self-motivation* laughs. can't wait. can't wait. can't wait! oh how i hate my course. my coursemates are starting to see which directions they can head after graduation. and sadly. we can't find much alternatives except being a lab technician. we are neither specialise in Engg nor IT. and to make US feel better, the current year ones are studying better modules than us. appearing to be more useful. sigh. wrong move sharon. *shakes* what's passed had pass. I will be looking forward to SMU.

4. i promise u that i will be more optimistic now k. life isn't easy. i am struggling to be back on my confident self. that cheery and laughing sharon. it's kind of hard after what i have been going thru. i have the urge to 'vomit' all the irritation i feel towards certain people on this blog but it's personal. if it's something that i have learnt, tat's to keep such stuff to myself. and really, it's making me rather quiet. that's not really my normal self.

5. i am going to my angel's house to study tommorrow morning till nine at night. i hate IAD so i am going to study it hard and pass it, so that i don't have to do it again. and waste another $1k on my school fees. ha!

6. i am waiting for Keith to reach home. or to at least give me a sms. He totally surprised me and melted my heart. laughs. i was watching simpsons when he suddenly called like 4 times on my HP and once at home but i picked up neither times. LAUGHS! sorry darling. too lazy to pick up the phone and my HP was in the room. when i returned his call, he asked me to open the door. haha. was giggling and jumping around. but his presence doesn't affect me watching my long awaited favourite tv programme. "Bewitched" a very old sitcom. only on cable channel 17. can you imagine i sat in front of the tv since 5pm to wait for a program which will only be aired at 6.30pm. well.. i got to enjoy "what i like about you", "Amercians Funniest Home Video", "Simpsons" and finally.. "Bewitched". Then it was 7pm. when i finally paid some attention to Keith. HAHA!

been so long since i felt so light hearted and freed. peaceful. and this worries me. cos i dunno when will this feeling be taken away from me. whenever i get this feeling, i feel all frightened at the same time. not knowing when i would lose it. that's why i must treasure such a feeling. rights? nods nods. in another 23 mins, it will be Kenny Leong's 21st birthday. Happy Birthday! (althought i know he's not going to see this. but i hope that he will be successful in life.)

[m][e][s][s][a][g][e][s]

Thomas: u seem to be having fun in camp. laughs. u still owe me a date. remember? i am craving for egg tarts. and it's all ur fault! take care k. *hugs*

Eugene: don't worry. i won't do anything silly. God forbids. His angels will stop me. Have Faith right? I do hope you get well soon.

Keith: I love you. thanks for being so patient with me.

posted by JL @ 11:04 AM