living the world of hers; contradictions: just plain tired

Thursday, March 03, 2005

just plain tired

Feeling: happy but tired mentally & emotionally
Playing: 98.7FM, You and Me by Lifehouse
Location: Home

i am just plain tired. no.. i am not having mood swings but.. i have been thinking the whole day about love and me.. I am recovering fast and growing stronger as each day passes.. I have grown a little too independant that I don't see a need to be loved by another person.. it's an emotional roller coaster again. I know i feel insecure and people around me makes an effort to say something to bring me up but others just do not or maybe don't know how..

I suddenly just want to burst out into this rage and throw all that i am feeling out.

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I love my parents but just not enough to say that I can agree to everything that they think is right for me. I wished that some times, one of them would just stop questioning me and probing. it gets irritating and eventually pissing off.

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I love the feeling of taking bus rides alone.. esp long rides home. In my own quiet space and i zone out thinking about life. I always get inspirations through long awake rides. I feel free... no one rushing me to any where...

does any one share the same interest as me?

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I love my gang; mao, jeremy, yf & ks.. LOL.. plus a few guest appearances from fir, xian, ryan & eugene.. maybe not so with eugene.. he's a little irritating most of the time. Tho they like to bully me alot but they never seem to make me angry cos they just know the limits. and i feel perfectly safe with them.. considering the fact that i hate men still.. they test my patience, they test my tolerance, they test everything about me.. but they changed me into someone who is less worried about stuff.. in a way, it's no good. LOL.. I am a busy bee.. i can't do nothing. i will go crazy! except on a holiday...

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ok. done with the expressions.

Woke up slightly earlier than my usual time for morning classes.. took my time to go to school.

*ring* picks up my phone..

Willip said, " Class cancelled cos Mr Tai is on MC. Please helpme inform the class. Thank you. Bye..."

*Ding Dong* i alighted the bus just as i hang up.

wth~? the second time that he "skipped" class. I don't know what to say about this lecturer... total freako. how come lecturers are entitled to MCs like it's unlimited and yet not get punished while students get punished for producing a LOA (poly term for MC)... was feeling rather pissed off cos a few of my classmates stays in the far East side... gawddd... they have to wake up so early to come and only to find out that the whole day's classes are cancelled!? and we were supposed to get our test results back today plus our thinking skills assignment. crap~

Anyway, headed to Mao's place to do our marketing project after their breakfast..

breakfast.. our class cutest couple.. lol.

And i got a taste of the game, burnt out.. so damn cool.. lol. i won a couple of races against the guys. lalalalalalala~ Mao's mummy was very nice, she prepared french fries for us. yumm... then she got us some goodies at the supermarket..

well, as usual.. the gang played maple story on the desktop and the laptop.. while i work on my lappy. LOL.. I am quite contented tho.. I just needed the company there.. the rest i can do but with some help when i lose my concentration. LOL. I started work at 1pm and ended at 5pm. lalalalaa~ then i asked keith out for a movie, Hitch..

good news: he agreed. bad news: He was in uniform so it's strictly no touching., not even holding hands.. (what's with these damn laws?! screw it.. argh.. it just puts me off so much that i wished i didn't ask him out to watch a movie with me.)

anyway, i took a bus back home myself. while transfering bus along braddel road, i felt so alone. it was somewhat scary. arh.. it was silly.. and i don't understand why did my buses take so long to come today.. every single bus. eek! so irritating. lol.

when i reached home, i was greeted with a familiar figure.. PEPPER! He's getting smarter. He now climbs up onto me and ask me to carry him, then ask for kisses.. adorable.

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aye.. feel like doing my fyp report. but no inspiration still. so i am going to bed. cos i have driving tmr. lalalalala~ nights ppl.

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some pictures at mao's place..

his meow meow.. pat it for the first time after going to his place for 2 years odd.. His cat is always not at home. LOL..

The LAN area & working area..

Solo player. LOL. ks... he's the oldest amongst us but acts like a 20 year old.. and when i say oldest.. i mean, he was preparing to go kindergarden when i was just born. LOL..