mastery
Feeling: curbPlaying: 98.7FM, On the way down by Ryan Caberna
Location: TSP
Doesn't that ring a bell? reminds you of your rebelling stages in life? or school life? where it's all about rules & regulations?
Who likes being...
1. controlled in actions?
2. managed at work?
3. checked on?
4. slapped with heavy weight on them?
5. restricted to the things you do or buy?
6. disciplined? [mind you, i am turning twenty in 33days]
7. manipulated in thoughts?
8. ... too many to be mentioned
For me, I guess i am pretty much in this stage called; finding-me, the who-am-i stage... Sounds a little late for puberty? *laughs* I admit. I am a late bloomer. *blushes*
I have always been the authoritative figure in school; holding up leadership roles wherever i am, in class, in the eee club [used to be really active when i was in poly year 1], in my cca [refering back to my sec sch days. maybe not in band but the prefectorial board *grinx*], among my cousins [yer.. i am one of the oldest. so this explains why, ok?]...
Now, i have someone breathing down my neck, tat's irritating. Wait.. it's not ONE but TWO~ eek~! horrigible.
---
here's what happened this morning on the way to work.
mama drove me to work, becos it was raining very heavily. [thank you mom.]
We were talking about same issues that we have been talking the last few weeks. *classified topic*
I tried to put my point of view to her, she to me. Gawd.. thank God, mama drives a Carry 1.3.. I tell you, we were talking so loudly, i think we overpowered the radio (vol 14). It was simply disgusting.
But i was rather relieved. At least I said my piece. Dont' feel that trapped and contained.
Anyway, i think this was one of the first times where i really shouted at my mom and got really angry with her for doing things which i don't like. And the thing was i told wat i have kept inside of me for a long long time, like telling her what i don't like her to do.
I might have hurt her but she hurt me even deeper by doing things that i felt were really intruding to my privacy. if only she learn how to respect me as a person and give me the freedom that i deserve. sigh.. knowing that i said these, she will have some more things to reply to me. arghhh... so troubled.
---
oh! to Liverpool fans, Yea~ Congrats~!!! I know there's sth big happening but not sure what is it.
posted by JL @ 9:21 AM
1 Comments:
Sometimes the sun seems hidden
When our lives are filled with rain,
And yet God sees us clearly
And His promises remain.
Sometimes we pray for something
That He doesn't seem to give,
And yet He knows just what we need
To help us grow and live.
And finally when the sun shines
And the clouds are there no longer,
We see how much He blessed us
And the storm
has made us stronger.
I know you are in the process of growing up, you are not a girl but not yet a woman...my intention is not to hurt you, if you want to see it otherwise, I can only cry insides me, ONLY GOD'S KNOW!
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