living the world of hers; contradictions

my forth TP

Feeling: slightly down and troubled
Playing: CD in my CD player
Location: Home

Erh.. Sad to say, I don't think I will be able to drive this Chinese New Year. Erh... I failed my test again. This time, not so bad larh.. 30 points only. Hehe..

Sigh... If taking the test is free, I don't mind. But each time I do it, it cost me a freaking 400-500 Singapore moolah! Think my hard earn money come from the money tree issit?! Bah.

To hell with those who tell me that the forth time will pass cause the tester will be more lenient. Especially the stupid idiotic instructor who took me for warm up. e-di-iot! Demoralised me by saying that my driving skills are very lousy that's why cannot pass. bloody hell! Singapore's SAFETY rules are super extreme, can?!

Let's see what happened.

2 pts for additional reverse moment during Vertical parking.
4 pts for delay in moving off.
4 pts for insufficient acceleration.
4 pts for speed too slow for traffic condition.
8 pts for causing other vehicles to slow down or take exasive action.
2 pts for improper turning (sharp turn).
4 pts for late braking.
2 pts for failure to signal in good time.

Like that... add up become 30 pts already.

*fainted*

Thank you Mr Tan Cheng Kiat for failing me.

(I would like to stress that I was driving very slow, thus the car behind me changed lane after I did an U-turn and another car followed me very closely showing that I drove too slow. Sigh. That's how I got the 8 pts.)

Sigh. Want to cry or laugh also don't know. Feeling sad yet I know I shouldn't cry. Sigh. I just feel uncomfortable. Sigh. Who likes to fail? I just can't take this shit any more.

My last instructor who took me for revision said, "It's not that you do not know how to drive, you just don't know how to do the safey measures and show the tester that you know what to do. Everything you also know, but you don't show. It's not what you want, it is what you need to do. Pass already, you want to go bang tree also can."

Bah. No comments to that. I just didn't do enough and didn't do my best. I am such a failure.

It's like the more I want it, the more it goes away from me.

I contradict so much. I wonder what I should feel now.

Sigh. I am sinking into depression.

posted by JL @ 11:21 PM