living the world of hers; contradictions

tired, but not of work.

Feeling: as what the picture describes
Playing: OTT's I miss you all over
Location: Home

I found myself lost after knocking off. I wanted so much to tell Anna to leave without me but part of me told me that I should stop working and leave.

I tried calling one of my friends for dinner but he didn't answer my phone. I wanted to call more but I just felt like I had no one else to turn to cos I didn't want to spend time with people whom I had to talk and talk and talk, you get the idea... I wanted to be around someone who would understand me, even if I didn't say a word but my dearest friend was not there. *mumbles* idiot.

I am not blaming my airforce-signed-on boyfriend for not being able to spend time with me but i just felt so lost and sad when the gahmen had to put him on afternoon shift which means he still isn't home till now.

I even contemplated waiting for Kris under his block but gave up the idea.
I wanted to take the bus ride around Jurong West and then alight after it made its round from Jurong West Extension but gave up the idea.
I wanted to alight at the market and go find dinner but I just had no appetite tho I felt a little hungry. I feel sick of eating dinner alone.

Then I started to wonder... Have I really neglected the rest of the world?






Ironically, my winamp seemed to have felt me and it's playing songs which describes how i feel now...

I am tired but not of work. I am beginning to wonder what is the meaning of coming back to my once most loved hangout. When home, I just want to be left alone. I am contradicting.

Of late, I wonder what's my sole existance on Earth? I know I sound selfish but I live for myself. I would never die for someone else (except God). kae.. I am talking rubbish. I am signing off to shower and sleep.

posted by JL @ 10:00 PM