Communication To Avert Conflict
Communication is essential for a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, to work. Without effective communication and conflict management, two people who have the best intentions for each other may still end up emotionally distant.There was a story about a couple who was filing a divorce. The man filing the divorce told the lawyer that he just hated the breakfast meal that his wife often prepared for him. In response, the wife said that she only prepared the meal because she thought it was her husband's favourite. Truth was, she hated doing it because it was so difficult to prepare! She endured the inconvenience out of love for her husband. It only came to such an ugly outcome because neither of them took the initiative to speak their minds.
Now why would people prefer to keep their complaints and criticisms to themselves? It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most, people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others. So can you get your message across without hurting their feelings?
You can start by substituting negative statements with positive ones. For example, instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Let me explain." Instead of remarking "You're wrong," say "Allow me to clarify." Instead of stating "You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was not stated."
There are certain words that affect a person more negatively in comparison with other words that have the same meaning. Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first.
Say:
"You're right, although..."
"Great suggestion, however..."
"I agree with your opinion, however..."
"I would feel the same way if I were you, although..."
"I understand your situation, however?"
Reassure your counterpart that the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right choice.
Communication is a gift. Learn to use it wisely for the health of your relationships.
posted by JL @ 8:47 PM
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