living the world of hers; contradictions

lost in new york

Feeling: lost
Playing: Savin' me By Nikelback
Location: Home

I've so many things to say, to express myself in words is just gonna be an unfair deed cos my thoughts run faster than my memory can remember and my fingers can type.

Then again when my thoughts pauses for a moment... I become speechless.

I am beginning to think that I am gonna end up like how i was when i broke up with my ex when i was sixteen. It took me close to four years to completely not feel the pain and yearning for him. Is this going to be like that again?

Kris asked me not to wait for him for he's clueless. He won't listen to anybody's comments cause he feels that noone understands our situation better than we do. But what they say are just parts of truth, things which they experienced before or is experiencing.The truth is, noone really discouraged me from continuing the relationship, so why is he?

i wish my brave strong front crumble so that the walls are broken down and i will be able to speak to him again. right now, it seems as tho our walls are so highly built as if there's war betweenthe both of us (think TROY).

my mind is blank again. only pain running through my veins.

i... am exhuasted.

i want him so, but to lose him, maybe for the better. for he said that he enjoys his singlehood more now. *ouch*

posted by JL @ 12:00 AM