living the world of hers; contradictions

mc day

Feeling: bored
Playing: power 98
Location: warm room

i think i am sick up there. the weather is so bloody warm, yet i am not willingly to switch on the aircon.

i have this odd and really bad habit. once i am hooked onto my comp doing something, i won't leave till i am satisfied and feeling extremely irritated cos i stink of sweat.

i took mc again today. i am fine i am fine... i was having very bad cramps in the morning and dread going to work. thinking how i suffered the past few times when i struggled to stay at work, i decided against working and slept in.

altho i don't get much quality sleep, i figured that the quantity might make it up for something at least. but when i am on my bed...

when i am on my bed and not able to get to sleep, i start thinking...

"i should wake up and go exercise."

this thought is really effective to put me to sleep almost immediately. hiak hiak.

"what is bloody wrong with me? i got all the time to sleep and i can't sleep? what is my body or mind craving for?"

then thoughts like;
- i want to go shopping for furniture to make my room pretty pretty,
- i should clean clean my room to make me feel less sick,
- i want to go out and buy new clothes,
- i want a new handphone N73,
- i want a laptop for my schoolwork (i heard it's project based),
- i want a bigger bed,
- i need a full body massage cos my body is always aching,
- I WANT TO SLEEP LARH~

"i should go for more novena prayers. i have been a naughty girl. O Lord, save my soul!"

but the thought of travelling via mrt to Novena scares me. The vast amount of human beings scares me.

"i want to go usa again. if not australia also can."

"i want to change job."

damnit. gotta wait for five more years before i can leave the company. unless some big american or european or australian company decides that i am such a talent and buys me over after i grad from curtin.

"what should i work as after i am done with my studies and bond?"

public relations? marketing? sales? media-related? or be a nun?

"why do i always suffer monthly depression?"

i should get a life and exercise more.

"when will yaying come back?"

humph. go so far....



okay... so my thoughts never ends. they are very random too. the whole point is... i wish i knew what i want in life and lead it for the better. in the meantime, i will continue playing with my photoshop.






actually, i love mc days. i get to do my own stuff. i should have more mc days! HooOrRraaYayYYy to MC days ahead!

posted by JL @ 3:29 PM