random thoughts
Feeling: unknownPlaying: power 98
Location: tsp
thoughts are so random...
i can hear my colleagues talking to the logistics people, the customers, the typing of the keyboard. it's kinda noisy yet peaceful.
peaceful yet my mind and heart seem to be racing to reach a certain point. it's weird. i feel like my life is so hurried nowadays.
nowadays, my boyfriend is so busy at work.
at work, i am not happy.
not happy, i can't find the pictures i want for my new campaign.
new campaign, it excites me yet i still can't find any motivation to come to work except the salary i received at the end of the month.
at the end of the month, i have to pay for my school fees, school is starting.
school is starting, i am thrilled yet scared. what if i cannot understand like how i am not understanding why is life being the way it is now?
life being the way it is now, isn't exactly what i want but someone told me to hang in there and finish my studies and my bond.
my studies and my bond, it will only be completed 5 years later.
5 years later, i should be out of this company, looking for some other job.
some other job, it puts me in a dilemma. mama wants me to stay and tells me i will make it big like my aunty. but aunty asked me to leave and find a better job. aunty also said i should be promoted by next year april becos my current post is too "small" and by the time i finish my degree, i should be able to get an executive level. i feel mix.
mix, i am happy to hear what is to come yet i don't dare to dream big. what if all plans fail? i will fall even harder than what i have planned for. i am too afraid of falling. the pain is too great. altho "we become bigger with dreams and stronger with pain" but i am too afraid.
afraid, i have become. it seems like any small little thing can affect me and i cry. what is wrong with me?
ahhh... Lunch time!
posted by JL @ 12:15 PM
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