Perfectionism
Like many other societies, ours is one driven by the pursuit of the highest standards. We were taught to always be the best, the one who gets the medal, the one with the best grades, the one who gets the most value for money at the buffet table.This struggle towards perfection is not entirely unjustified; after all, we all should strive to become the best that we can be. Some of us actually thrive on constantly trying to be perfect. However, there is a difference between trying to be your best and attempting to live up to expectations which are excessively high or overly rigid.
Perfectionistic behaviour isn't helpful when it makes you aim for standards you can't possibly meet, and causes you to become depressed and anxious when you don't meet them. Perfectionistic inclinations are only positive when you're able to re-adjust your standards when you realise that they are impossible to reach.
If excessively high goals are making you inconsolably frustrated and miserable, then maybe it's time you rethink your concept of perfection. We all need to know when it's time to go for it and when to kick back a little and stop beating ourselves up over what we failed to achieve.
How do you know if your perfectionist tendencies are beginning to cause you unnecessary strife and misery?
Martin M. Antony, co-author of the book "When Perfect Isn't Good Enough", suggests asking the people around you. He goes on to say that perfectionism can mean a lot of different things. It can be a detail-oriented, compulsive way of being, where everything has to be in order and no one is allowed to be more than a couple of minutes late for an appointment.
People may also set unattainable standards for themselves - like trying to be the perfect parent, a superstar at work, a fantastic friend or the ideal partner, or attempting to attain the perfect physique.
You know it's starting to become a problem when you realise that there are certain aspects of your life from which you demand absolute perfection - anything less makes you unhappy and unfulfilled. It could be a relationship perhaps, or how your colleagues perceive you. And that feeling of dissatisfaction is very intense and is beginning to adversely impact other aspects of your life.
Let go of that anxiety and relax a little. Very often, these benchmarks hardly do any damage if they aren't reached. Don't let the pursuit of perfection affect your happiness and ability to maintain fulfilling relationships with the people around you.
posted by JL @ 12:44 PM
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