it's finally x'mas in LA
Feeling: lovesickPlaying: chatters of Aidan, Marianne, Vera-yiyi, Godma and my Mom
Location: LA, Fullerton, OC
I don't want any fanciful presents.
I don't want a big Christmas celebration.
I don't want to be here right now, because...
All I want for Christmas this year is... KRIS TAN CHEE SHENG!
I was attending midnight mass just now and I felt really empty. For the last eight days that I have been in States, never a moment have I stopped thinking about MY LOVE.
If asked, what's the most painful experience in my life now? I would say, "To be away from My one and only Love, Kris."
Heard of the song, Have You Ever? By Brandy.
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you into my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
I feel like this right now.. Nothing I do will make me smile for more than two minutes. It's such a painful thing to be away from Him...
I am not saying that Kris is making my trip not enjoyable, but I am just saying that, I wasn't ready to come on this trip.
Tho I am here, my heart is back in Singapore.
It's terrible I tell you. It simply is a stab in my heart.
For eight days, I know not what I did. I follow blindly. I can't think properly. I can't sleep properly. No matter how much rest I get, I still am tired.
Wasn't it supposed to be a holiday?
Looks like it isn't that way. Here, in the house, I am treated like a little girl (from whom they had their last impression of). It's sad you know, not having friends. I miss Yaying too!
It feels so lonely here.. Christmas isn't Christmas for me this year.
I wish and pray that time passes faster... Wake me up when
See.. Tho there's a pretty x'mas tree and beautiful presents, I am still not happy seeing them. (wait.. or am I pms-ing?)
The church that I went to just now.. It's really cold tonight and so the church was warm and stuffy which almost killed me cos I couldn't breathe.
The beautiful choir that provided music tonight.
The back of the church.
The altar.
The crib where Jesus was born.
Still... All I want for Christmas and for the rest of my life is Kris!
posted by JL @ 6:00 PM
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