living the world of hers; contradictions

Quit Smoking

If you're a smoker, there's never been a better time to stop. Already leading the charge are the world's most developed cities like New York, which has banned smoking in pubs successfully. According to researchers, smoking will be virtually extinct in Australia within 25 years and more frowned upon than spitting in the street.

And from next July (2006), smoking will be banned in pubs, clubs and food stalls in Singapore except for designated smoking areas. This as part of a nation-wide move to prevent non-smokers from inhaling secondary smoke indoors. Smokers will be confined to small smoking rooms, which I expect will be not-too-pleasant an experience, even for smokers.

Sure, smoking is a personal choice, and as long as you're not blowing smoke into people's faces all the time, you should be allowed the pleasure of your drag if and when you choose. After all, it's your body, and it's your money.

But in less than a year, smoking in public will become so inconvenient and awkward, that maybe it's time you thought about whether it's really worth it to continue smoking. After all, you know you want to quit; the advantages of quitting are just too sensible. It will be tough though, but if you're seriously considering it, here's how you might be successful.

First of all, the day before you quit, throw away all cigarettes, matches, lighters, and ashtrays. Ask family members and friends not to offer you cigarettes or to smoke in front of you. Your goal is to get through that first important smoke-free day.

To quit successfully, you need to know what triggers the desire to smoke in you. Make a list of your personal smoking triggers, and avoid as many as you can. Replace "triggers" with new activities that you don't associate with smoking. If you're feeling tense, try deep breathing to calm yourself.

Keep yourself busy and be as physically active as you can. When you feel the urge to put something in your mouth, have substitutes ready, like vegetable sticks, apple slices, or sugarless gum.

When you're feeling discouraged, remember this - 8 hours after quitting, the carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal. 24 hours after quitting, your chance of a heart attack decreases. 2 weeks to 3 months after quitting, your circulation improves and your lung function increases up to 30%. And just one year after quitting, the excess risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker's.

The benefits are immense. So don't be discouraged. Good luck!

posted by JL @ 11:05 PM 0 comments

there is..

Feeling: bored.
Playing: 98.0FM
Location: TSP

there is this particular female colleague of mine who sits behind whom i would like to talk about.

My guess is she's 53 year old. Old lady already. Recently, she seemed to have gone thru a wardore change or a make-over or she's trying to follow the fashion trend. unfortunately, she failed to impress people. instead she got tongues (or tails?) wagging. look at her necklace today, it's not matching her outfit.. or heyy... she's wearing pink and yellow. her colour combi got problem. haha! or hmm.. look, she's got a nice pair or earrings that looks ugly on her.

well, do you get the point? she's got problem with her "fashion statement" that she has created or maybe trying to create. btw.. who matches plastic seashell necklace with black skirt and a top with purple and blue strips? *imagine really auntie clothes now, please* ah huh.. weird.

you will most probably be asking why am i bothered. i am bothered becos she
1. sits behind me and likes to peep at my table,
2. laughs really horribly like some xiao jie trying to act shy,
3. had has this set of teeth that makes her mouth look really werid,
4. flirts with the 56 yr old uncle behind her everyday (even tho he calls her old lady, but still, she carrys on flirting.),
5. picks on my boss and Daphne,
6. she is very rude to my auntie and gives a whole lot of excuses when questioned about her work,
7. comes to work to maximum and minimize windows, click here and there on her 17'' LCD monitor with P4 CPU (what a waste. tsk tsk.),
8. pretends to be nice to me (why i say so? becos she's not nice to everyone else)
9. comes late for work, leaves for early lunch then starts reading newspaper till after lunchtime even tho she came back at 12pm (lunch starts at 12.30-1.20pm), leave early for work (5.40pm, everything is off.),
10. visits the pantry and toilet ever so often. Lazy people produces more waste. (translated from Chinese)

okies.. you should get the point by now. heh... it's her earrings that set me wanting to talk about her today. it's just horrible. she's trying to mix retro fashion with the present day fashion. omg. it's just... *zips*

[n] [e] [x] [t]

*warning. below are random tots.*

i am..

1. tired.
2. irritated by my stomach.
3. giddy.
4. breathless.
5. not thinking straight so if you happen to talk to me, i am not thinking when i talk to you.
6. not happy but appear to be now. (someone told me i seem happy. but no. i am not.)
7. doomed if my video clip is not done by this sunday.
8. cold cos the air con is.
9. feeling fed up with my body. can i please throw myself away?
10. listening to power 98 and thinks that it plays very good music.
11. thinking of going home to play with the new programs i kapo from my classmate.
12. going to write the stationery requisition list for the mth of sept '05 but i got no idea what i need to order. *1 min later*
13. done writing cos i got nothing to order so i just signed my name.
14. burping my lunch which i took at 11am. *excuse me*
15. thinking of getting new lingerie.
16. wondering when will i get well from my gastric or hypoglycemia.
17. in no mood to do my work cos i am giddy and tired and moodless.... argh.
18. hearing chattering noises from behind me.
19. going bonkers thinking of my bed.
20. afraid i can't get to sleep tonight again.
21. drained out by everything. and i dunno why.
22. feeling depressed after thinking of point 21.
23. wishing that September will to skip to October tmr.
24. talking nonsense if you still don't know.
25. wondering if Lih Ying is reading this cos i promised her i will make a nice banner and welcome her on my blog. and i want to tell her that
Lih Ying~! you are a 'da mei nu'.
26. wondering why my health so poor?
27. thinking of exercising more so that my health will improve but who will go swimming with me? *i am invitating ppl..... hint hint....*
28. wondering what time will YY finish work tonight... 9pm? 10pm? 11pm? or 12mn again?!
29. not feeling good. cos i wanna puke.
30. fat! fat! fat!
31. going to take my last paper in SP on the 26/09/2005 at 6pm to 8.10pm.
32. thinking of thanking all my good friends or nice friends or people who have shown me care and concern.. THANK YOU TO ALL. *lazy to recall who*
33. losing my memory, that explains point 32.
34. wondering how long more am i going on with this list?
35. looking at my constantine poster which was given to me by Zhihao. Yey! fave moive.
36. thinking of how sweet Zhihao was when he was not in Tekong. Laughs.. not that he's not sweet now but he was sweeter when we were still studying. *grins*
37. wondering how are all my Tekong/ Army friends doing?
38. *pauses and ponders* is it dinner time yet? getting blur vision.
39. telling you that i love white roses, lilies and baby breathes.
40. missing Hans and Qi becos i am looking at OUR picture taken last yr after tanning at Sentosa.
41. guilty for not visiting my God-daughter michelle shannon for a long long time. sorry darling.
42. wondering why i got not much money left to shop this month.
43. wondering when can i go tanning again.
44. listening to John Mayer now.
45. having a headache.
46. thinking of soaking myself in a bath tub but my parents removed it years ago after renovating out toilets. damn.
46. coughing.
47. not feeling well larh!
48. looking at my green gastric pills and thinking if i shd start thinking it regularly. *giggles*
49. going to blog more when i am clear minded enough. maybe i need more rest...
50. finally going back to work now. ciao.

*smiles* i hope you enjoyed my 50 points of nonsenses. i wanted to blog more but if i do.. i think... erm... no need to work since my brain never stops thinking. yeh.

posted by JL @ 3:46 PM 0 comments

bad night

Feeling: tired, drainned, unsatisfied
Playing: 98.0FM
Location: TSP

drained and shagged out. without a good night's rest. everything just turned depressing, meaningless, lifeless and unimportant.

last night. i slept at ard 12-ish. tossed for a while before i knocked out. but before i knew it, i woke up at 1am. so i switched on my radio and tried to sleep. at 2am, i woke up again. went back to sleep. and at 2.10am. i woke up. damnit! what's wrong with me larh..

the good news is, i managed to sleep till 4.30am before waking up thinking it was already 7am. bad news, i realised it was only 4.30am. went back to sleep. and at 5am, i woke up. by then i was very frustrated.

and so.. i went back to sleep. and couldn't wake up at 7am, instead woke up at 7.30am. sigh... very tired. head very heavy. can't think. no mood. sigh. what a bad day...

come on.. let's all sing, Bad Day by Daniel Powter

...

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

...

-end-

[n] [e] [x] [t]


yesterday after work.

i love talking about yesterdays, if the yesterdays are good to talk about. lalala.. but pardon my lack of memory. i think hypoglycemia caused me to forget little stuff or maybe big stuff...

after work. YY and I took a lift from Daphne's car. she dropped us at HV and from there.. we took 106. Cheap ride larh. saved money, saved time. hehehe.. anyway, i went to Nokia care right? yes... then i queued for my exchange right? yes... after waiting for almost thirty minutes right? yes... I decided to ask one of the posing staff (posing staff becos he wasn't doing anything but just standing there. get it?), why is my number A020 showing? I only see 'S300....' and 'C167...' Then he pointed.. only one counter serving this set of numbers. *faints* Then the person was serving A018 still. after 45min? tsk tsk..

no choice. waited. then the customer left. (at that time i didn't know it was A018) Yey! my turn. then it showed on the LED display, A019. sian. calling once, twice, thrice! SOLD! my turn! yey! laughs.. fast fast. chop chop. changed and i got my NEW charger exchanged. lalala.. asked if my ear piece was ready for collection. he said no. hai. nvm. next day then go down again then. anyway, i bought the so called Fashion earpiece. (when i take a pic of it then i post. i am lazy to do it now. ha...)

after that. it was to Scotts. for Pasta Mania. YY.. next time we order one plate of pasta and one banana desert pizza can already.. enough for us to be super full. after that it was Esprit shop hunting. From Scotts (realised it was not longer there) to Wisma (no stock) to Merittus (no stock) to Centre Point (don't sell) to PS (2nd last piece in sgp). Finally... got the one on display. it was still in good condition so i took it. photo of my shades will be up shortly when i am in the mood to take a pic of it. yes? hehehe..

after that, we headed for HOME. yes yes.... HOME.. reached home and the rest is history not meant to be told. (actually, i am just lazy.)

bahh.. i go back to work already. super duper sian. nothing to do now larh... i want lunch to come soon. then night. then i can go back to sleep. then tmr school. wah.. then work again. then sleep... yes... i can only think about sleeping now... yes... yes... yes... sleep...

posted by JL @ 9:56 AM 0 comments

my weekend was..

Feeling: giddy, slight headache, burpy & sleepy
Playing: 98.0FM
Location: TSP

Let's start with Friday..

Friday. aka Payday. panic larh.. checked my account thru out the day to find that it's still the very pathetic amt which can't be withdrew anymore. so... Karen and YY had to pay for my expenses till midnight.. lala.. So there! Friday night started off with Crystal Jade Xiao Long Bao. man.. i felt like a glutton ard the other two girls. (btw, Karen is the girl who sits on my right at work.) They had noodles while i had a plate of super dry fried rice which is freaking not-worth-my-money. Then we shared a plate of Cabbage and Shanghai xiao long bao. my fave dishes. lalala.. Thanks girls~ *smiles*

after that it was straight to Wala Wala.. i think it was only 7-ish when we arrived, very early for a pubbing night. but it's lucky we got there early cos... we had seats! yey! i can't tell you how horrible my 2nd non-alcoholic drink tasted. Anyone tired Virgin Mary before? Not Bloody Mary hor. It's freaking horrible. Tomato juice with salt i think. almost puked. The first drink was Pussy foot. yummy.... fruit punch with milk. nice. eh.. the two girls had hoegarden beer. which i ended drinking after having tat horrible horrible drink. anyway, i was feeling half high. enough to make me sleep soundly that night. thk goodness. arbor... i think i will be really awake that night. hehehe...

*pardon my improper sentence structure and confused sentences.. i am not feeling so well still*

Saturday came really quick tho. hehe.. remember sleeping till 11am? arhh.. then i got up to bathe. and head out to see the doctor. YES. i went to see the doctor kae.. *claps* one month once.

Doctor said,
1. i have # Hypoglycemia. (searched on yahoo.)
2. my stress level is very high.
3. i need to sleep more if not my body will never recover.
4. my gastric is not improving.

---
#Symptoms of hypoglycemia include

-hunger
-nervousness and shakiness
-perspiration
-dizziness or light-headedness
-sleepiness
-confusion
-difficulty speaking
-feeling anxious or weak

Hypoglycemia can also happen while you are sleeping. You might

-cry out or have nightmares
-find that your pajamas or sheets are damp from perspiration
-feel tired, irritable, or confused when you wake up
---

now, i say... Ironic. my dad has Hyperglycemia, which is the opposite of mine. heh.. nv heard of such a thing till date. scary eh.. he said i could have died if i fainted. the key word there is COULD.

so.. once again.. i was told to,
1. exercise
2. not think so much before i sleep
3. do something that will make me relieve my stress
4. eat my meals
5. carry sweets
6. drink Milo or sth to fill my stomach when i am hungry or giddy

yups.. tat was it. which cost me $30. sobs.

oh yer, and i got myself the *Ettusais AC Cycle Approach Supplement Pills. *ka-ching* $57 dedcuted. well, i hope it helps in my PMS. yey... *awaits*

then in the late evening, i went down to MUST bar. somewhere in Chinatown. I think. Laughs.. i dunno. i just follow my poly mates. hahaha.. i went there to have Fruit Punch and sky juice. lalala.. towards the end of the night, i wanted to play pool with the birthday boy. but he lost to ZQ. ZQ lost to me cos he so smartly port the black ball. ha.. he confirm will trash me de larh but.. lady luck was on my side. so here came little miss bitch (sorry abt my lang), out to compete with me. (cos only 2 ladies played. Me and her.) felt like smacking her each time she cursed hokkien. really see her no up larh. imagine the words, knn, ccb, nb coming out from a seventeen yr old to-be-lady. omg. it's just... *shakes head*

well, she won me by a black ball. sick! i shd have aimed properly. *smacks myself* and now, i am determined to practise and be a better player. humph! ah.. well, this kind of lao sai happens. *moves on*

---
*Ettusais AC Cycle Approach Supplement. As stated in Cleo mag of Sept 2005 (again), The hype: Helps skin build up its resistance against acne that occurs as a result of the hormonal changes during your monthly periods. The system consists of two sets of pills. The first reinforces skin's top layer and retains moisture, while the second controls oil production and suppresses skin inflammation.
---

here comes Sunday. it was shopping day again larh.. bought my toiletries, my chrysanthemum tea (to put in the office to drink so that i won't go giddy, cos got sugar content), and my body shop products. yey! i love body shop. THE BODY SHOP. i got my lip balm (vit E), my eye cream (Vit E) and blemish stick (tea tree oil).

and for TODAY.. i will be heading to Nokia Care Centre. FINALLY got thru and managed to reserve my charger first. my ear piece still somewhere in Finland larh... then i will be going to Esprit to get Shades. =P lalala.. time to pamper myself. yey~! just this one for this mth. really.

btw, i went to school today kae....

ps: this post took me 2 hrs. Laughs.. kinda long for one post becos i was moving ard alot cos of work. so... my points kinda went out of pt. so.. pardon my poor English today. bear with me. =)

posted by JL @ 1:52 PM 0 comments

mp3 files found

Feeling: happy.
Playing: go the distance by Michael Bolton
Location: Home

i found my files. Laughs. happy. shalala.. lalala.. elmo song~

kae.. i accidentally moved it the other day. oh well. it's found. yey!

i just got home from dinner with YY. it's mos burger night! yey! YY is my fav mos khaki larh. hahaha.. well, she's my best frd. wondering why suddenly so close to her now? maybe it's the closeness we shared since sec sch that wasn't taken away. Fate.

yes, i believe in it strongly. it was fate that brought two of us back together again. yeh? We are fated to be together bah.. i quote YY's sms to me from the other day. hehehe.. well, be happy for me people. i found my friend. someone to be there and who cares. i am not saying others don't. but be happy for me larh. i got a GIRL-FRIEND. okies? how many times have you heard me mentioning that i got a close female friend... not many.

the nonsenses that i give out. laughs! i think only she can entertain me larh. and i must say she does it really well. *claps* sometimes i feel that i am so lousy compared to her. she's sweeter, nicer, prettier, sensible-er, *what else?* more giving, smarter... and the list goes on. haiya, she's just nice larh. and i dowan anyone to snatch her away from me. *man. i sound les.*

aiya, no matter what. i am happy. happy that fate brought us back tgt. yes.

what else? hmm... *wonders* **thinks**

i go bathe already. tata~!

posted by JL @ 10:43 PM 0 comments

mp3 files missing

Feeling: sad, giddy & sleepy
Playing: 98.0FM
Location: TSP

Fark! i wasn't feeling so pissed until i opened my office laptop's my music folder and realised... it's not just the mp3s by artist starting from alphabet A - C that are gone.. i got a back up. but tat was done in nov 2004. wah liew!

i still got my Avril Lavigne's new album not back up, my Black eye peas not back up, and so many many more larh. just A-C alone i think i have at least 200 songs. sad. coming to think about it. i am really sad.

oh, i din explain what happened yet. okies, i wanted to play 'I do' by 98 deg last night when i realised they are not found in my D:/MP3 which is my partitioned drive. then i realised the night before, i emptied my recycle bin which deleted 71 files. a bit impossible larh. so it must be someone HACKED into my computer. that wang ba tan. *curses* you take 98 deg nvm, you take Avril Lavigne. my precious larh! my favourite!

on second tot, could it be virus? but i scanned leh. nothing. and i haven't downloaded anything from my email or what. i usually del mails with attachment. hehe.. to be safe kae. maybe it's time to do defragment. oh wait! tat day i accidentally moved my MP3 folder into another folder. maybe it's in there! I go home check kae! *slightly calmed down*

heh... tis morning, sth rather drama happened. i almost fainted. laughs.

i walked from my home to lakeside mrt. not very far. maybe 1km? Laughs. i dunno. but it was a 15min walk. i alighted at Clementi to go get breakfast. walked to the market, and then headed to take 166 at the interchange. I reached the berth, i felt giddy. kae, then i sat on the railing. still no improvements. wth... i cannot faint larh. noone i know there leh. later faint, everyone will worry.

but but but... i had the giddy spell, the nausea feeling, the cold sweat, the tummy pain, the black out.... wah. drama. i almost wanted to cry liao larh. i no strength to even take my handphone out of my bag. sobs...

then the bus came. i boreded. took a sit and closed my eyes. i could feel the cold sweat every where on my body. i was freezing. tsk.. then the next thing i know, i am at ATP's busstop. heh.. alighted. walked as fast as i could to the office and hoped that i would faint only now. but.. nothing leh. i took my breakfast. had a cup of warm water. and now.. headache and tummy ache. *rolls eyes*

my body is spoilt too.

posted by JL @ 10:12 AM 0 comments

Building Self-Confidence

Very often, before other people will start to have faith in you, you have to have confidence in your own abilities. Self-confidence is a very powerful state of mind that other people quickly notice and easily respect. So how can you develop a high-level of self-confidence?

Consider these steps:

First, choose to concentrate on your strengths rather than on your weaknesses. Confidence comes from within. You have to concentrate on the positive things about yourself. Remember the past is over; you can only change the future. If you have trouble doing this, write down ten positive things about yourself. People often find it very helpful to actually see the words.

Concentrate on your potentials. These are the reasons why you should love yourself and believe in yourself. Give yourself credit for every successful or good thing that you do.

Next, remind yourself of past successes. Confidence builds on past success. The more you do this, the more convinced you'll be that it's possible to succeed again. Most people unfortunately can't help focusing on what they did wrong in the past. This failure to forget and let go damages their self-confidence.

Also, learn to take risks. Risk is a crucial part of life; it is necessary before any great success can be achieved. If you spend your life avoiding risk, you'll never experience all that life has to offer.

Cultivate an enthusiasm for trying out new things. Once you get past that initial barrier, you'll find that it's very empowering. Yes, you will fail sometimes but the lessons and experiences are invaluable. As you do and try more, your confidence level increases because you realise that you become more and more knowledgeable. Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn instead of occasions to win or lose.

Next, use self-talk as an opportunity to contradict destructive beliefs. For example, if you catch yourself expecting perfection, tell yourself that you can't do everything perfectly; that it's only possible to do your best.

And visualize your future success. Our minds cannot distinguish the difference between something real and something vividly imagined. What will your future look like, smell like, taste like, and feel like? Who will be with you, and where will you be? How will you be feeling? Placing this much vivid detail into your mind increases the likelihood of success, and supports greater confidence!

posted by JL @ 8:53 PM 0 comments

Communication To Avert Conflict

Communication is essential for a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, to work. Without effective communication and conflict management, two people who have the best intentions for each other may still end up emotionally distant.

There was a story about a couple who was filing a divorce. The man filing the divorce told the lawyer that he just hated the breakfast meal that his wife often prepared for him. In response, the wife said that she only prepared the meal because she thought it was her husband's favourite. Truth was, she hated doing it because it was so difficult to prepare! She endured the inconvenience out of love for her husband. It only came to such an ugly outcome because neither of them took the initiative to speak their minds.

Now why would people prefer to keep their complaints and criticisms to themselves? It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most, people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others. So can you get your message across without hurting their feelings?

You can start by substituting negative statements with positive ones. For example, instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Let me explain." Instead of remarking "You're wrong," say "Allow me to clarify." Instead of stating "You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was not stated."

There are certain words that affect a person more negatively in comparison with other words that have the same meaning. Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first.

Say:

"You're right, although..."
"Great suggestion, however..."
"I agree with your opinion, however..."
"I would feel the same way if I were you, although..."
"I understand your situation, however?"

Reassure your counterpart that the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right choice.

Communication is a gift. Learn to use it wisely for the health of your relationships.

posted by JL @ 8:47 PM 0 comments

crampy days

Feeling: crampy
Playing: 98.0FM
Location: TSP

hey! do you know i feel like doing now? I want to go home, change into my fav very short shorts which are almost the equvialent of a guy's boxers (really short short shorts), have power 98 blasting, room doors shut, curtins drawn, wrap myself with my blue hole-y blanket and curl up in bed.

i am sort of happy that my period is here becos! i am less moodier, feels happier and lesser hormonal changes which means i am almost back to normal. Now the only thing that is upsetting is, cramps.

The next, where's my pay?! why is this week passing so slowly? just like Corrinne May's song...

"before i met you,
life was slow mo.
so slow mo...."

blardy slow mo larh everything. Office also like tat. at home also like tat.

talking abt home. I received a call via my home phone. I won't have picked up if it's not at 1.30am in the MORNING! idiot! a person with common sense would know that it's sleeping time and it's very rude to be calling to disturb the receiver. sick!

me: hello?
caller: who called me arh?

*thinking that i was dreaming*

me: not me.
caller: then who?

*that sounds like, who stole the cookie from the cookie pot song*

me: i don't know.

*now i tot it was one of my friends trying to play a prank call on me*

caller: is your number... *he read my home phone number out*
me: yes. but i didn't call you.
caller: arrrhhh... arhhh..... who are you?
me: i stay here larh.
caller: oh.. not you call arh?

*realised that it's not my friend already*

me: NO! and it's 1.30am! why are you calling me back now?
caller: oh... you sleeping arh? sorry.
me: yes. can i go back to sleep now?
caller: what's your name? can tell me?
me: No. Goodbye.
caller: ok. byebye.

*hangs up*

damnit! i just managed to hoax myself to sleep by tossing and turning. then this phone call came. and i had to spend another 30 min at least to hoax myself to sleep again.

honestly, after putting down the phone... i tot i picked up a "ghost" call. yes. i know it sounds dumb but it's the 7th month after all. and i have been getting all these weird calls. i received one today on my hp.

*sees weird number but picks up anyway*
me: Hello?
caller: hello? is ah jun there?
me: wrong number. sorry.
caller: arh. wrong number? oh sorry sorry.
*hangs up*

wait.. who is ah jun? why is ah jun giving my number to ppl? i recieved a similar call last week too. weird larh. is a ghost giving my number out?! or using my phone to call ppl? argh. so scary.

posted by JL @ 2:25 PM 0 comments

bored at work

Feeling: bored
Playing: 98.0FM
Location: TSP

Bored^infinity.

How can?! bored. *3 seconds later*
freaking bored. *5 seconds later*
damn freaking bored.

TODAY, is the first day ever in the history of working in Toshiba Singapore Pte Ltd that i have nothing to do for today. (there are things, but if i finish it today, what am i supposed to do for the rest of the week? i need to pretend that i have stuff left right?)

boredom kills. totally. the lucky thing is that... I am not sleepy despite the very little sleep i had last night.

i am heading down to OB-Starbucks to collect some mooncakes. oOOo... Mango, greentea and expresso flavoured. Interested? Then to PS to meet Gary who's flying off to Texas later. Sobs.. another gone.

---

tell you what i did after lunch. Bored. so i went to who lives near you to surf. found many church mates and primary school mates and this guy whose bike is super duper pretty looking parked downstairs larh. this is one of my latest craze. but it's pretty boring. getting boring.

---

tsk. i am in no more mood to further continue. sorry people. i go get some stuff done before leaving. i am so reluctant to move larh. so unwilling to go down to Orchard. not when i am pms-ing. sobs. bye.

posted by JL @ 4:08 PM 0 comments

i think...

Feeling: mad
Playing: 98.0FM
Location: TSP

i think i need to dig a hole. hide in there. hibernate till my period starts. goddamnit. tmd. argh. it's getting way out of control. i can't control my temper anymore.

first, i snapped at nicholas for leaving the nasty msg about YY (which i feel if i am in the right state of mind, it's nth actually but now, it's not me, so i think he's the innocent party larh.). well, i feel tat it's wrong of him to say that to my frd and YY feels offended too. if he's being a gentleman, he shd either stop this nonsense or apologise for accusing her of being "un-nice" to JQ. cos both JQ and I don't see anything wrong about that sentence... quoting YY, haf u ever c mi in SP b4? don't think so rite? so u should know the ans.... unquote. yes! SP is big, but girls will always be girls and give answers which goes all around the world before coming straight to the point. isn't it, girls?

argh. i don't know larh! it's getting me really badly. please!! i wanna go into hibernation mode NOW!

second, i snapped at mummy who called my office's direct line. (yes. i have a DDI now.) i don't understand why she must call my DDI. My mobile is free in coming too wad..... MOM! why?! my office number is meant for work.

argh. i don't know why am i snapping and fuming mad! i can't explain. but it's just killing the hell out of me.

third, my stomach is spoilt. really spoilt. wah lau. take it out of me please someone. it's i-can't-find-a-word-to-express-but-this-tmd (pardon me. sorry for being crude. but...) uncomfortable and irritating! *screams* i feel hungry yet full. feels like the acid juices are eating up the walls of my stomach.

argh. how can?! stop it larh. freaking uncomfortable. you want to kill me internally issit?! stomach O stomach... let me off please. i said PLEASE. *stares*

tsk. tsk.. tsk... tsssssskkkkk.... i hate myself during this time of the month. if any innocent party got involved with my unforseen, unpredictable and unacceptable moodswing. I apologised deeply from my heart. i don't mean any harm or anything. I just can't control.

*wonders* is it becos i stopped eating Evening Primrose?

posted by JL @ 5:18 PM 0 comments

morning everyone

Feeling: not so awake
Playing: 98.0FM
Location: TSP

yes.. i am at work on a monday morning and not in school. decided to skip lecture cos going there makes no point. I don't understand what the "doctor" says cos his slang of English (from China) makes it almost impossible to understand a word. tsk tsk.. i know what's YY gonna tell me... you're so bad! hence proven.

i msn her just 5 min ago cos the msn alert popped up telling me that she just signed in... and here is what she tells me after i told her i am at work and not in school.

^y2keiko^ - ... says:
Bad Gal....
..:: shar ::.. **i am a living contradiction** says:
yar.. i am so bad
^y2keiko^ - ... says:
hehe
..:: shar ::.. **i am a living contradiction** says:
"you're so bad"
^y2keiko^ - ... says:
yaya...."you're so bad..."


can't help but laughed at our silly joke. it's even funnier than what i am going to share with you abt Nick the Dragon Slayer


Nick the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the
beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this
would be death.

One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts.

The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and was touted as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins.

With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.

The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear.

The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...


MORAL OF THE STORY: Pay your bills.


---

eh! How can mitch? we're Catholics. must be pure in thought and deed. later your Godmama scold you arh.. *giggles*

okies! it's time for work. btw, i am still pms-ing. getting all the nonsenses this month. cramps, headaches, outbreak, tired-ness, irritatibility (did i get the spelling right?), bloated-ness... argh.. it's depressing naming it out. just the outbreaks makes me really depressed. is it THAT hard to maintain good skin? I need good skin care products. yesh! it's time for Ettusais Supplement Pills!!!

lalalala.. elmo song. it's payday on friday or Saturday. lalalalala.... elmo song! oh, did i mention to you guys that elmo wakes me up every morning with "Elmo loves you". hard not to wake up when someone tells you that "he" loves you. yeh?

kae. have a good day and week ahead.

*goes to think abt my mmsp project....... in deep pile of lao sai (for the benefit of my non-chinese speaking readers: watery feces) already larh...*

posted by JL @ 8:26 AM 0 comments

my week's activities n updates

Feeling: regrettful and sickly
Playing: corrinne may's on the road
Location: Home

boohoo. i promise not to eat so full already. i promise i promise i promise~! so stomach can you please let me off and behave? *begs*

i went for dinner at soup restaurant in Jurong Point with Mummy just now. And overate. AGAIN. I am getting bloated and FAT!

I am going to EAT HEALTHY!.

YY! i am going to eat healthy! join me!

i feel so sickly now! feverish since monday larh. wah liew. forever feeling so tired. and so i drink at least 2L of water everyday. but still.. my lips cracked. *cries* so ugly now. lips so reddish. so uncomfortable larh.

i want to be well again! PLEASE! *prays*

---


cool stuff. din want to try it till monday afternoon. felt super healthy cos got vege. laughs.. new love.

*sings free by corrinne may which is playing on winamp now*


on my way home on monday. nice? pretty. beyond words. God creates beauty.


my "ta bao" dinner sponsored by Mummy. *THANK YOU MUMMY*


and the MOST NONSENSE claim of the week! blardyhell. waste my time. freak! HR manager some more. badegg!

---

btw, welcome xiaofen. thank you for reading. *smiles*

posted by JL @ 11:59 PM 0 comments

i erhh...

Feeling: tired but satisfied and bubbly
Playing: The things we never did by A1
Location: Home

*phew* i just finished editing a report for one of my little friends. *gryns* I intended to finish it at work but i was feeling too hungry by 7pm and hurried off to Rong Guan B.B.W Seafood located at Blk 120, #01-07, Bukit Merah Lane 1 (Alexandra Village) for dinner with YY. Yesh~! I had my craving stuffed. It was fried rice, sting ray and sambal kang kong. wah! Heaven! *burps*

After that, i suggested Ikea. yea yea... my wonderland!! The place where my ideas come out. the creativity place for yours truly. *zips* i can't tell you what i told YY. YY, you cannot tell ppl hor! *giggles* I bought a few stuff.. then left for home at 9-ish? I think so.. couldn't remember but i could remember shouting out before i reached the busstop near the Queensway firestation, "I want 198 to come NOW!" and the moment i turned back, i saw a bus. It was 198! Yesh! YY gave me the you-are-weird look when the bus really came. wahahaha... well, at least we didn't have to wait for 20 min of a stupid bus right?!

---

Oh yer, i had my very own packed crystal jade xiao long bao noodles and the shanghai xiao long bao for dinner last night. I was feeling really tired yesterday, a little feverish actually. So i called mummy to pick me up for dinner but she was already having it with Daddy at Crystal Jade's. So.. i ordered dinner larh. hehehe...

It was Tuesday, Charismatic night but.. i decided to stay home to rest. Slept at 11pm. and woke up only at 11am this morning for Tutorial. Wahahaha... and now, i am getting worried for my project. damnit! i need to do it soon and find the program. ULead, anyone has?

kae.. it's 1.32am. Time for me to sleep. it's work tmr. argh. i can't wait for the weekend!!! Payday is getting nearer.. I don't understand why is August passing by so slowly. FASTER i say. FASTER i wish! FASTER pleaseee....

Goodnights dears.

posted by JL @ 1:21 AM 0 comments

Handling Disappointment

Someone once said, "No appointments, no disappointments."

We experience these somewhat similar emotions when we have created expectations concerning what we will receive from others, life or even from ourselves. We might also feel such emotions concerning our own abilities or efforts when we are unable to achieve the goals we desire.

We feel this way when things do not happen the way we expected, or more often, when others are not who we expected them to be. We develop expectations, and then feel cheated when we they are not fulfilled.

When we succumb to such feelings, we often give up making any further effort, which in turn obstructs our growth.

In order to handle disappointment, we have to first understand that we are all in a process of evolution and that no one is perfect. It is unreasonable to expect or demand perfection from ourselves or others. We would not be here in this evolutionary process if we did not have much to improve.

Have faith in the flow of life. There is a wisdom greater than ours. Something drives the salmon upriver. Something unfurls the flowers at dawn and closes them in the evening. Something makes the crystals grow in almost perfect asymmetry. We don't yet fully understand what that something is, but there's no denying it's there. So instead of demanding results immediately, we need to learn that change, manifestation and creation are usually slow organic processes.

Now this is hard to do when faced with disappointment - having confidence that with patience, practice and perseverance, we can manifest the changes we seek. But it's crucial that we develop greater trust in our ability to manifest our goals and life purpose with or without the help of specific persons.

See how you can achieve greater self-sufficiency. When we are independent, we need less from others and will expect less from them. What are the gaps in your life you now require others to fill? How can you work towards filling them yourself?

posted by JL @ 10:15 PM 0 comments

searching for mp3 player

Feeling: moody
Playing: Breathing by LIfehouse
Location: Home

I have decided to go for JNC mp3 player. got a few models in mind.. check it out.



Built-in 256/512MB/1GB
Support Playback MP3, WMA and ASF files
Direct MP3 Encoding Function
Direct MP3 Encoding Function
Built-in FM Radio and FM Radio Recording
Voice Recording
Surround Sound : WOW / TruBass / SRS
USB 2.0
50 Hours non-stop Playback
Direct Plug and Play as a USB Storage
Supports Display English & Traditional Chinese Language and Text Viewer
AA Battery x1
7 Color LED Backlight
5 Preset Equalizer Mode: Rock, Classic, POP, Jazz and Normal
Made in Korea
Dimension: 58W x 25.4H x 25D mm
Weight: 30.5g (Without Battery)
Accessories
Stereo earphones
USB cable, Audio Cable
Neck Strap
Carrying Case
AC Adaptor (Optional)

either this *points above* or that *points below*

posted by JL @ 11:17 PM 0 comments

Happy Being Alone

What's wrong with being single?

Well, a whole lot, if you go by what you see and hear around you. Whether you watch TV, go to the cinema, or listen to friends and family, messages promoting couplehood prevail. Visit any bookstore and you'll find dozens of books about relationships; how to keep them together, how to grieve the loss of a loved one, how to find and keep the "perfect" mate, how to satisfy your lover sexually, and the list goes on and on. Rarely will you find books on being single unless they relate to healing some aspect of yourself in preparation for a relationship.

Society expects every man and woman to wed, preferably before the age of 30, and to have at least one child (two is perfect). Even though the term "old maid" is no longer politically correct, many still respond with surprise if an older woman remains unhitched. Single women are supposed to date regularly. If not, friends, family, and coworkers love to set singles up with blind dates (and we all know how satisfying those are). It's practically screaming at us from every corner - it's not okay to be alone.

Now don't get me wrong; being in a loving relationship has its benefits, no doubt about that. And the future of the human race hinges on our ability to reproduce at a steady rate. There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship. But there is nothing wrong with not being in relationship either. Singles are not undesirable, immoral, child-loathing social recluses with toxic personalities. Many singles lead perfectly happy, fulfilling lives by choice.

Besides, not all relationships are dandy. Couplehood can be marvellous as long as there is mutual respect and some communication and conflict-management skills. Unfortunately, few relationships share all of these characteristics, leaving many people unhappy.

Being single can be a rejuvenating experience. It gives us the opportunity to discover who we are, what we do and don't like, how we deal with things, what we want out of life, what our expectations are, what our potentials are, and what energizes and empowers us. By learning to love and care for ourselves, we don't have to hunger for someone else to fill the void in our souls; a void that only we can truly fill. The purpose of entering into a relationship should be to share oneself with another person as opposed to trying to get from someone what is lacking in ourselves.

So if you're single, why not make the most of it? Enjoy yourself! You can be alone and happy and successful.

posted by JL @ 7:13 PM 0 comments

friday & saturday

Feeling: tired
Playing: without you by clay aiken & kimberly locke
Location: hom

i am just going to post some pictures and leave little bits of comments.. i took the paracetamol and now i am super weak. had headache earlier on so took it while i outside. laughs.. can you imagine? i was like a walking zombie.

let me update on my friday's night out with YY...



i actually wanted to take a picture of the food but we were too hungry and forgot. managed to take a pic of the last xiao long bao~! LOL... with ginger.


then we headed to "Essential Brew" for tea~ yeah yeah...


a proper picture taken. hehehe..

---


After Novena Service...


Birthday girl Zhang Qi Qi~!


Best Friends. Being Visible isnt a requirement, being tgt thru the heart, soul and mind is the key for a friendship to work out.


This gang... invited me down cos they miss me. How sweet. Such a lovely bunch. and i am so happy to have found friendships in them. (=

---


my 12th was a treat at Wala Wala from Chin Hock, LV and YY. Thanks guys~!

Happy 21st Birthday QQ!

posted by JL @ 11:50 PM 0 comments

beautiful memories

Feeling: tired & happy
Playing: Fall to Fly by Corrine May
Location: Home

Day in the office was tiring. But lunch was satisfying. *giggles* Had a little surprise from someone from another dept but it's no biggie. But i was glad and happy to have received a mail from him. Things are still left undone. plenty of things left undone.

the good news was, Aaron came to pick me up after work for a moive and dinner..



Country Manna at Great World City.. I realised it is a really nice place to chill. Quiet. just like Habour Front, except GWC has a cinema. Really Cool and BIG cinema.


After dinner we walked around.. and i found this!! damn cute. hilarious. Anyway, I wanna go GWC again to walk walk. Laughs.. saw so many things i wanna buy but had to control myself but ended up buying Corrine May's Fly Away Album from THAT CD SHOP.


we caught the 9.40pm show. Got pretty good sits. We were like the only 2 in the whole entire row. how nice.. the show wasn't as good as i tot it would be tho but.. it was cute and creative.


And this... I am gonna miss Aaron. He's flying off to States this Friday. sigh.. one less person to go out with.

The day ended with Aaron sending me home. Sweet.

---


Creative Zen Neeon. My latest Craze. Laughs... The other one seemed a little lousy and wasn't as good as i tot it would be. besides, i don't think it's worth my money. $239 for 512MB. very expensive...

---


"Me? My regret? Is that I joined the Singapore Polytechnic Electrical & Electronic Engineering Club. It caused me meaningless stress and heartbreak, took up a majority of my time, and by God caused my results to plummet. Then again, I've met many people along this bumpy winding road, one of which is my ex-girlfriend. Things didn't work out but we decided to remain mature and continue being friends. (Although I DID avoid her for a period. =Þ)" i quote from his blog about the topic "regrets".

That is like the sweetest thing he has ever said so far since he changed. I missed that old him. when he wasn't so involved in club. Nic, i really miss that person.. I am waiting for that person to come back. I don't know what i can do for you nor do i know how to talk to you cos i dowan to make things worst.. but i want you to know that I miss that old Nicholas who used to hoax me to sleep every single night, bear with all my nonsense and make me listen to your advices... I simply miss the person in you. Let him come back please. In the meantime, i will just be patient.

posted by JL @ 1:06 AM 0 comments

patience

Dear friend,

Life is about waiting... waiting for the bus, for the time to pass so that i can see the doctor, for my hair to grow longer, for the bad times in life to pass, for my sadness to fade away, for my heartache to heal, for my twenty-first birthday to come, for September to end so that i will graduate with a Diploma, for anything and everything... LIFE is about Practising Patience.

Always remember, nothing is forever. Things are always going to be temporary. All you need, is to be PATIENT. Time will pass by, and before you know it, it's over. I will be there for you. I am always there for you. But I won't know you need me until you tell me or talk to me.

Just like how you are there for me EVERY TIME. I WANT to be there for you too. If only you allow me to be. And the hurt last for as long as you want it to.

I may seem busy, but I can't help it. I need to work. I do hope you understand my situation. I am not addicted to work, but I need to work.

I am sorry if I haven't been a good enough friend to you. I am doing my best to make it to you. Will you let me into your heart, soul and mind? So that i can share the hurts and pains, the laughters and joys, the anger and the madness... All i want to tell you is.. I am here for you. as always.


Yours truly,
Shar

posted by JL @ 4:12 AM 2 comments

day out on national day

Feeling: un-disturbed
Playing: last resort by Papa Roach
Location: Home

Happy 40th Birthday Singapore!

I met YY for Lunch at Jurong Point. Was craving for Long John Silvers. Hehehe.. And so we headed there. Then to Wheelock place to find Nokia Care. lalala.. Found it. But they said, my charger and headset cannot change COS no stock. dumb. anyway, we walked from Wheelock to Lido to Far East Plaza to Heeren to Cine to Starbucks then home.

(oh oh! i met Kor and Ash JieJie at Wheelock. Ash Jie is ill. GET WELL SOON kae...)

I got PROVE! laughs.. actually, it just me wanting to use my camera. *laughs*


Went to Isetan to check out this Ettusais Counter. I read about this on CLEO's July 2005 issue; pg 78 & 79.

It is a skincare supplement which will help to reduce zits and relieve symptoms of PMS such as mood swings. There are 2 bottles; one for the first half of your (girls) cycle and the second half for the next 14 days... How cool is that? I want to get it!

If you wanna find out more about it call 68361281 (Scotts Isetan), 67391809 (Orchard Isetan), 63347188 (Seiyu Bugis), 67352236 (Metro Paragon) & 68911127 (Metro Causeway Point)... I have listed the places where you can find the Ettusais counters. So if you need to find out more, call them. If not, msn me. i will try my best to explain. Laughs. *warning: i am no professional. but i will be trying it soon*

Then, YY and I headed to Far East Plaza where we found MANY new stuff. Laughs. Keeping ourselves updated. heh..


A picture speaks a million words... At 5.30pm, i told her i wanted to go Heeren to get beads to make new bracelets. And off we walked walked and walked... The weather was so bloody warm kae.. almost melted two very darlings on Earth; yours truly and YY.


Hiak Hiak.. Been looking for NEW earstuds. and i found them! lalalala.. and hairclips. i love these mini ones.


Then to Cine to have dinner at Pasta Mania, and bought a replacement Radio for Daphne. The Piggy is spoilt but i bought it for so long, so i don't think they will change for me, that's why i got a new one. Oh yer, it's called Urban Connection. It's opposite Hula & Co. shop. It's opened by a SP student. I asked him if he was from SP, and he gave me a ninety cents discount. How interesting. *gryns*


And we caught Bewitched. Opened in cinemas today. We got the 8.15pm show, sat 3rd row from the back. Pretty good for a public holiday. The funny thing, there werent as many ppl as we tot there would be in town today. those peeps must have gone down to Esplande. hiak hiak.

The show isn't as good as i tot it would me tho. A little romance. Funny. But the show is overall 6/10 rating by me.


After Bewitched, we headed to have a little something something..


See the new serviettes! Very "classic". *laughs*


Got a shot of the pretty girl who accompanied me today. I wonder what would life be without such a dear friend.


That's ME! A shot taken unknowingly... but heck.. i got a pic that showed what i was doing. thanks to YY.


And i wrote sth for my ex colleagues... taadaaa....

We left at 11-ish for home. lalalala.. Weirdly, one day passed so quickly. I enjoyed her company. And i see her at work everyday. Laughs.


Oh, YY got this for me. So prettyful kae. Love bracelets. I LOVE bracelets.

Mitch! I am waiting for mine... lalalalala...

kae.. it's 3.33AM now. time to sign out and koonZzZzZ.... got Lab and Tut tmr. Hopefully i get my results back. And please let me PASS! Nights darlings..

posted by JL @ 3:00 AM 0 comments

friday night session

it was LV, YY, Chin Hock and I. Jo was down with food poisioning. Get well soon girl! and soo... pictures here you go.















okae. i am tired. nights. hehe...

posted by JL @ 11:48 PM 0 comments

what a week

Feeling: fat!
Playing: 98.0FM
Location: TSP

yeh yeh, it's a Saturday afternoon and i am in the office becos i have to meet my postponed dateline. *sobs*

This week was a really NO LIFE week. On Monday, i worked till 8pm. Then headed home. bahh... i remembered exercising and then posting my prev childhood pictures.

And on Tuesday, I headed down to Singapore Polytechnic to study with Wendy. Managed to do my 2 past year papers. At night, went to church for Charismatic. Then home to study for my Multimedia Signal Processing Paper till 1am.

Wednesday, it was a nightmare! I opened my question paper, and found FIVE short questions instead of the usual four. Bahh.. out of 5, i only know how to do 3. Gawdd... and the 10 MCQ, anyhow do larh.. After my test, headed back to work and worked till 8.30pm before going for dinner with YY. heh.. what a day.

On Thurdays, (WEEKEND IS NEARING!!) work again larh.. till 8.30pm. Super duper stressed up cos I received my dateline schedule. when i recived it, i went, "BLLLAAARRRDDDYHEELLLL!!!" Cos it was the next day. freaked out. Cos i just received all my documents. i need at least 1 day to prepare them before i can do my data entry and checking. Which means, i needed another 3 days!! really wished i could just drop dead. So freaking tired but still pushing myself to do and meet my dateline. That now, i can hardly open my eyes wide and my face is full of zits and my stomach produced MORE acid again. I need the DOCTOR! "ddddoooocccttOOOORRRR~!" BUT! things changed when YY and I headed to JP for dinner at MOS Burger. Not becos i had my favourite milk tea and chick nugs but it's BECOS of the company.

ever came across a friend whom you were really close with during sec 1 & 2 then becos of the different class in sec 3 & 4, you girls got drifted apart and to make things worst, we went to different poly. And it's only recently, we got back together. Right YY? Our paths of fate crossed and we meet again.. just like you said, "maybe we are fated to be together." wahahah!! so, don't go to HK to study larh! *evil gryns*

heh.. on Friday, it was dooms day. i really worked like hell larh.. i din even go out for lunch. Karen had to buy lunch back for us, Daphne, Anna and myself. Work work work.. till 8pm again. tsk tsk..

And now, i am back at work. the worst thing, i slept really early last night. like at 12am. and by 7am, my biological clock woke me up. i tired to force myself back to sleep... and woke up again at 11am. Laughs. Then took my time to eat, watch kids central and bathe before mummy sent me down. lalalala... heh.. i got to come back tmr again. It's just so mentally strainning. yeh? do you feel so same too?

Oh yeh, i will be meeting LV, YY and Chin Hock (new member to the grp? nah.. just another classmate. btw, it's a HE. hahaha..) Jo sms just now and told me she's down with food poisioning so she won't be coming. sad. GET WELL SOON GIRL!

---

Since i was listening to the radio, the DJ played this song which somehow expresses how i feel. partly larh..

Papa Roach's Scars

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

... for the rest, pls click here.

cheerios sweethearts.. i am back to work.

posted by JL @ 3:54 PM 0 comments

memories of my childhood

Feeling: slightly tired
Playing: Donna Lewis's Never felt like this before
Location: Home

yea. i was doing my exercise and went thru my photo albums. And found these..

*warning.. long post of pictures*

from the most recent.


cute neh.







That is me at 3 year old. Pictures taken on the 19 June 1988, Father's Day, Dinner at Mekong Village Restaurant.




That's me at home. July 1988. Heh... i look so cute larh.











Okies.. This really is me. When i was 17-18 mths old. REALLY! I look like a boy kae.

---

anyway, i am sorry guys i din put in captions. i am feeling tired. Plus tmr me going to school for revision. Better get some rest. *yay*

oh yer, I had a wonderful dinner with YY today. hahaha.. Just like OLD times. I miss her lots. *muacks*

kae kae.. i am going to doze off already. Nights darlings~

posted by JL @ 12:01 AM 0 comments