I am so tired now that I can afford to read my email for fear that I will misread and reply something else. It’s so scary.
This certain issue is really getting to me. Bababo* aren’t replying my emails and smses. I am going nuts and bonkers! How can Bababo do this to me? Do I have to do everything myself?
Pissed off.
I am tired of initiating to do things!
urgh!
Hormones are raging and stirring up a storm inside of me. Just stay clear of me.
Breathless. Mind filled with “things-to-do”. Worrying heart makes it feel so heavy to work.
Got like many things to remember that even writing down won’t work because they are more than what I can remember. Sad. I need more RAM and memory space.
Taking a break from all other things now.
Meetings, project datelines, daily tasks, school work, exams… I am over the top.
I feel like my brain cannot contain what I have learnt at work and school any more. So “filling”.
I got to learn how to deal with this stress.
I must work harder!
I will not fail any modules (pass can already).
I got to stay OT tonight.
*blanks out*
seriously… I can’t remember what I am supposed to do because I have so many things to do.
Two days only and I had FOUR meetings with plenty of things to follow up. My brain is cracking.
Not to mention about school stuff... class this and next weekend, project dateline on the 12th, exam on the 12th and 23rd.
i am on leave again to study. And I have spent my day very effectively.
To make my study environment more condusive and my brain relaxed, I watched "Desperate Housewives" and cleared my table top of dust and packed some stuff away into the new cabinet. =D
sigh. i am in hope that I will start studying soon. Because I have less than 16 hours to cover 4 chapters. Good luck to me. I have a feeling tomorrow's test is very tough.
although it's interesting but there are a lot of facts to remember, just like Geography.
oh well... at least MIS motivates me by giving me vouchers.
btw, i have a belated birthday present which i received last night from my friend.
And to make my mickey mouse hand look prettier, i shall go fix scratch by sending him to the nokia care center for a software upgrade tomorrow after my test!
I feel like i am dreamland. I keep floating in and out of my sleep. I am on MC today. *grins*
I couldn't differentiate between the reality or my dreams. I get phone calls the whole day. The only thing lacking is, accessing my office mail at home. If I could do so, I would have been working from home on my sick leave days.
I feel sick but not quite that sick. Still I feel uncomfortable.
I feel horrible again. My stomach and mind feels sick. urgh.
On Sunday morning, boyflen called me after his usual soccer game for lunch. As I headed down, his few friends couldn’t help but commented.
First comment: I look “white”, did I go for a “bleaching” session?
Second comment: I look I’ve been deprive of food. I look skinner each week.
I have very good answers for both comments!
To the first, “No, I didn’t go for any bleaching session. I just didn’t go for sun tanning. Unlike schooling days, I hardly have enough time to be out in the sun now. The only time I am exposed to sunlight is lunch time.”
And to the second, “I don’t usually have much appetite after school or work. And I am picky with food. So I don’t eat much.”
Kris’ mummy complains I don’t eat enough. Whether I eat or not doesn’t make much of a difference. I think mama complained too on Friday, she asked why didn’t I eat when I was already finished with my dinner and was all cleaned up.
Not like I really chose to be white or skinny but I have poor time management and I am lazy. I rather sleep in during the weekend than to go out to suntan (alone), and this causes me to skip my breakfast and sometimes lunch.
I am not proud of this routine. I intend to change it. REALLY~ Just not yet. I am still tired.
Of course, I want a more fulfilling life filled with lots of activities but not right now.
Somehow I sense that I am recovering from the slight depression that I was in a few months back and learning to juggle work and school. I still struggle to feel good about myself. Till I am more ready to bounce up, I will still be in bed on weekends till noon. I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep, to make resolutions and end up not fulfilling it.
Still… Anyone wants to go sun tanning? Call me. I will try to wake up.
Can you believe it? It’s Thursday already! We have spent eighteen days of 2007!
I have so many pending things-to-do lists.
1. Marketing things-to-do list 2. Sales things-to-do list 3. Not-listed-in-job-scope things-to-do list 4. Accounting things-to-do list 5. Consumer Behaviour things-to-do list 6. School admin things-to-do list 7. House-keeping things-to-do list 8. Well-being things-to-do list 9. Relationship-maintenance things-to-do list 10. Personal things-to-do list
And these aren’t all aspects of my life yet. I have not been maintaining my friendships lately, and I think it’s causing me a lot of harm. My friends will soon leave me for greener pastures. All along I thought I was the greenest pasture around for them, now that I have not been taking care of my greens, it’s turning yellowish-brown and losing its attraction.
I am just so so so so so so so tired everyday after work or school or church that I have no strength left to do anything. Bah.
My mummy must be a superwomen! She works, she takes care of my family (Papa is the big baby, I am the small baby and Pepper is the grand-baby *laughs*), she cooks for Papa and Pepper, she does the household chores, she goes online to do IM chats, blog, surf for information, checks her email account(s), reads blogs, and I don’t know what else she does.
I feel like I am living life as if I am in “The Sims”. I saw boyflen playing it on his PSP and I thought, my life is no different from them except they have a easier life and my boyflen controls it. *grins*
I am not complaining that I don’t like my life, but I need more time to complete all these. I need at least EIGHT hours of sleep everyday but I only get about 6 hours. And how rested can I be when I keep dreaming?! tmd
Arhh… I gotta love life more! I gotta tune my body so that it will require lesser rest yet I don’t fall sick, stay young-looking, stay slim, and look energised!
Lord, help me please. I ask all these in your name. AMEN!
Actually hor… the reason why I blog is because I wanted to bitch about my boss. Bah. I should thank him anyway. He motivated me to write this entry.
He keep telling me so many bad news, I can’t proceed with so many things, all my projects left pending. Half way, half way. Got so many things on my mind, I think I am going crazy.
Those sleepless nights are back to haunt me again. They give me headaches. *sobs*
I ended the day of work with a sumptuous dinner at Hotel Intercontinental. Boss and I went for a meeting over at our agency’s office and was treated at the Man Fu Yuan. It was the first time I dined with a whole group (15 of them) of Japanese (our appointed agency is a Jap based company) men and interact with them as though we are all my friends.
The food was good. Too bad, I don’t fancy seafood. Laughs! Boyflen was jealous because of the good food I had while he took pleasure in his dinner at a near-by coffee shop. This is the positive side of my job. Kekeke…
I am hoping for more to come, not the food, but the meetings. I am so excited. I am not a fan of business meetings but these meetings are going to help me in my career. Though I am not too sure what I am planning for ten years from now but I know for sure that 5 years from now, I will still be in Toshiba. So I better build up my network and learn fast.
The opportunities that my boss offers are simply irresistible. Let’s cross our fingers and hope that he will send me to Japan for training in March, send me for (international) agency meetings, impart more of his skills and knowledge to me, entrust me with more projects, and send me for (lots of overseas) market visits.
I got to love my job more and work harder.
Here’s to no more lesser MC days and reasonless-annual leave days! CHEERS!
It really puzzles me to see that some people will be interested in seeing what I blog. I first started off blogging because I needed an outlet to bitch about school, problems that bugged me too much, being emo and express my thoughtless thoughts, and leaving memories since I have a very short-term memory.
Writing is my passion but I can’t write well. I like pictures (so that my friends will be able to know that I am still alive) but I can’t Photoshop them well.
Then it turned into a place where my friends come to and check if I am still alive since I work too much and hardly have time for them. So it still serves its purpose because my friends still can't get me out as often. Times have changed, it's worst now that I am WORKING FULL TIME and STUDYING PART TIME. Plus I am half married to my boyflen. LOL.
Anyway, I forgot what I wanted to blog because I left this window open for too long. Went into too many small discussions and did other official issues.
Aye… I shall post back dated pictures then. Pardon me if the pictures look bad, I can't get a proper software to edit my photos properly here.
Taken outside Vivo City with QQ.
Christmas present from Anna and Daphne.
QQ and me again at Bakerzinn at Vivo after dinner.
Pepper not allowing me to read the papers (as usual). He would slide and crumple the papers each time I moved.
At Fosters (Holland V). New specs, newly manicured nails, new pose.
Double rainbow on New Year's day. Taken at Boon Lay MRT station.
"Abstract" shot of boyflen.
Edit:
I feel incomplete. It feels so weird. I want to see DOCTOR~!
I dread it when my mom starts talking about family matters or her miserable friend(s). On one hand, I feel disgusted, but on the other, I feel motivated.
Disgusted because of what that particular person does, motivated because I take that as a reference and work harder to NOT end up in the same fate as them.
This morning, I felt a sense of pity for the person whom she talked about. Seriously, JOY* must have been down in luck or JOY doesn’t know how to do financial planning.
All in all, I pity JOY and all around JOY.
At the same time, I thought to myself and thank God that I have a much better life as compared to those whom my mom usually talks about. I thank God not because I am richer in cash but richer in all other aspects. Like, how easily contented I get (most of the time when I am not pms-ing), my gift of life, the imperfections which reminds me that I am not that great and I have to be humble.
Life isn’t always smooth sailing (for me at least). Those bumps are there to remind me constantly to not get too bigheaded otherwise my big head will suffer the same fate as a balloon. Either losing its air or be busted.
Whatever the outcome of my future turns out to be, I thank mummy for sharing these stories with me and motivate me more to earn more in the shortest time and provide the family with a better life.
Cheers…
* Member renamed to protect identity. And I named the person JOY to hopefully allow more JOY to flow into the member’s life.
side note: Why boss always like that? Give me something to do and give me a dateline which dues 2 days later. Always like that... Nvrmind, good training. train to squeeze brain juice!!!!
Edit:
I have this urge to voice out what I feel, as though I have plenty of grievances, a lot of thoughts, days I have not spoken. The problem is I don’t know what is bothering me.
Tsk tsk…
I wish I don’t feel so lousy when I pms. I almost cried last night when boyflen kept poking and making fun of me. I was so angry I stormed off to bathe. For what I did that, I also could not understand. Girls are weird creatures. BEWARE!
If I have to say something to guys who don’t experience pms, I will tell them, “You think it’s fun to walk around with boobies that hurt all the time for almost half the month? You think it’s comfortable to sleep with your stomach feeling all queasy and upset for almost half a month? You think it’s nice to see pimples on your face in the morning just because you are going through hormonal changes every month? You think we want to bleed like no body’s business and feel all crappy and feel depressed?! It’s not like I ask to feel like that what! I can’t control my hormonal changes. Argh! Pray harder so that you will experience it once in your life. And you will know it’s not easy to be a lady!”
Side note: I love answering phone calls from cute people. They are fun. Hohoho…
Feeling: pms-y Playing: power 98 and Chloe talking to me Location: tsp
I just did an analysis of my expenses (one of my 2007 resolutions; control budget and save more). Oh my goodness! I overspent during the holiday season and ate into my school fees!!!
That’s it. This year, I will try to be less generous. So if you don’t receive any presents, don’t be sad okay? I am trying to save up for my school fees and marriage future.
Meaning it will be less manicures, less hair cuts, less wine & dine, less expensive outings, less luxuries, less desires. It is going to be more “auntie” (be stingier, use more coupons), more home-cook food (more NTUC-shopping too), more sbs bus and smrt train rides (bye bye taxi uncles), more careful with where my money is going.
It’s scary to see how I lose all my money, those hard-earned money. *sobs sobs*
This year cannot buy so many presents, cannot give so many treats, cannot be so generous already larh.
That’s Singapore. If one wants to get married, one will need lots of money (e.g.: ROM, Church wedding, wedding dinner, house, renovations, furniture). And I am not talking about luxurious ceremony, only the basic and necessities. Sigh…
Looks like I can’t get married before twenty-six already. Never mind, I like the number seven so, my new target is set at twenty-seven (ha! Boyflen will be thirty-one).
Feeling: frustrated Playing: power 98 Location: home
I am starting to get worried. I can understand the lectures all the time but when it comes to applying what I learnt in my project now, I can’t figure out what to write.
Sigh… My group mates must have thought very highly of me because they gave me the whole question to do myself. Urgh. We always brain-storming together but this time, I gotta do it myself. Either that or they think that I am not doing enough for the group. I have been trying this question for the last one week. I am so lousy.
The worst thing is... I have been feeling extremely tired. Guess it's the busy-schedule I had the last two weeks and the lack of sleep, my body becomes weak. sigh.
I better get back to thinking. Happy new year. Blessed be.
